The Art of French Gesticulating

 

“The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said” ~ Peter Drucker. Nonverbal communication is incredibly vital when trying to relay or receive a message, especially between people who do not speak the same language. Living in France for the past couple of months has made me realize how imperative observing the unsaid can be in order to make interaction more successful. But even beyond the interaction I receive on a day to day basis, there is a code that only the true French person would know: the cultural gestures. For example: the handshake. In the French culture the handshake is short, sweet, and to the point. The conjoined hands go up, and then down, that is all. With this method, the French might not seem as warm and friendly as, let’s say, a Southerner with their arm clasp and a probable hug, but they display their respect and firmness, and probably save time, which of course is of the essence. The French increase their already high respect level by extending their elbow or sometimes just a finger when their hands are full, dirty, or wet, as to not inconvenience the other person.

 

An additional sign of reverence is sitting up straight. Many Americans have a tendency to look like they are melting into a puddle on the floor when they sit down and that is not acceptable for the French, especially when they are in the presence of authority. From childhood this procedure is ingrained in the young French minds to keep the tradition alive.

 Another gesture that is popular in the French world is called the “bof”. This is raising the shoulders, holding up the hands with the palms facing out, sticking out the lower lip, and raising the eyebrows.

 

 

This versatile motion is so prevalent because of its various meanings, including:

•It's not my fault

•There's nothing I can do about it

•It's got nothing to do with me

•I don't know (anything about it)

•I doubt it can be done

•I don't really agree

The French also consistently use a gesture referred to as “mon oeil”. Literally meaning “my eye”, this motion is just the index finger lowering the skin under the eye. Translating in English to “my foot”, “yeah right”, “you’re kidding” or “no way”, this simple signal says a lot by just lifting a finger.

by: Sarah Eldridge

Gimme Some Sugar!

One thing the French are known for is their kissing, and, no, I don’t mean “French kissing” so get your mind out of the gutter.  This kind of kiss is an air kiss more than anything.  They do it twice in the cities, especially Paris, and up to four times in the country.

 The French “kiss” each other’s cheeks when they see a good friend or a family member.  It isn't an actual kiss, but rather they put their cheeks together and make the kissing sound.  Sometimes, they will grab the other person’s hand and pull them in for the cheek kissing.

If they don't know someone, they will do a quick, one pump, limp handshake.

Even though I don't see this gesture used in the states, it is fairly common to Southern, Central, and Eastern Europe as well as the Mediterranean, the Middle East, and Latin America.

 There are many theories as to the origins of kissing, in general.  So far, we only have guesses and speculations.  The Bible contains one of the earliest references to kissing.  We do know that it can also be symbolic or ritualistic such as, kissing the pope's ring or other relics. If this ritual did, in fact, come from a spiritual ritual in Catholicism or Islam, then it is easy to understand why it occurs in these locations which tend to be mainly Catholic or Islamic even after centuries of war and uprisings. 

The kiss is a sign of respect, among other things.  It has been fascinating to watch how people will greet each other.  To an extent, you can almost tell their relationship from their greeting.  The kisses used to only occur between women; it wasn't until the start of the 20th century that men began to engage in this type of greeting,whether it was with a woman or another man.  It's really amusing when close guy friends do "les bisous" because they sometimes mix it in with a bro hug like guys do in the states, but instead of a hug, they go straight for the kissin'.  It's a little shocking at first. 

Young people much prefer the cheek kiss to a handshake or really any other form of greeting, here in France.  They also touch fists, but that is not nearly as popular as kissing (duh! When will anything be more popular than kissing!?)

Now, don't get too stressed about the rules to "les bisous."  Chances are, if you end up in France it will just be for a short visit, and if you do end up staying longer and building close relationships with people they'll most likely just forgive you because you're a foreign and their ways are still new to you.

By: Ashley Blackstock

Don't Burst My Bubble

 

One of the drastic differences I have observed in the lives of the French versus the Americans is the French’s high regard for personal space. Just riding on the metro for the first time, I quickly learned about the right way to go about things on public transportation and Parisian life in general. Here is the recipe I have found to be the most successful: First, get onto the metro quickly without bumping into the ones around you. Second, find a position that is the least obtrusive and inconvenient. Third, do not make eye contact with anyone, just keep your head down or your nose stuck in a book to be safe. And fourth, do not make much noise while on the metro, the people around you have enough things to be distracted by without the help of your flapping mouth.

 

 

 

 

One should be especially judicious with eye contact because the French culture regards this act as more intimate than Americans. After a rough morning or a draining day at the office, the last thing a French businessman wants is a loud foreigner staring into their soul while being packed in with a bunch of other annoyed French people. With these tips, one will seem like a true Parisian instead of the obnoxious foreigner the French might have otherwise perceived. The French stress personal space with perfect strangers as well as with acquaintances and even friends. Everyone knows the classic French greeting of the kisses on the cheeks and at first glance, one might think that this action is more close and warm than the American instinctive hug.

 

 

 

 

But by taking a second look one will notice that there is actually no kissing involved, just cheeks touching for a couple of seconds. There is also limited body contact, maybe just a hand on the other’s arm at most. The French are practically appalled by the Americans giving out free hugs to anyone willing to receive them.

 

They perceive full body contact as extremely intimate and something sacred that should not be handed out lightly. The French outlook on personal space has directly affected how Americans perceive the French as rude or cold, while they are just being sparing with their cherished moments and respectful to others.

by: Sarah Eldridge

Food, Glorious Food!

One thing I have noticed in France is how much importance they place on food.  It is so important, in fact, that they have numerous social rules regarding it.  As an American, I’m used to just eating whatever I can find and whenever it is convenient.  I am also used to a meal lasting no longer than forty five minutes and even that is a bit of a stretch.  It’s both frustrating and relaxing (depending on the day) to sit and enjoy a meal that lasts an hour and a half. 

In France, a meal is when a family comes together and gets most of their quality time, it’s also a time for friends to sit and chat, and it’s just an over-all relationship building experience.  As far as family goes, that’s really only for in the home.  Cafes and restaurants are places for adults to sit and enjoy a relaxing meal to themselves or to take part in conversation with a close friend, not for children.  That plate down there is what we Americans refer to as the meal of champions. 

Here, lunch and dinner are the biggest meals, while breakfast gets put on the back burner.  They also tend to eat all their meals later in the day than Americans are used to.   They like to eat slowly and take their time while they build long lasting relationships with their meal companion. 

The quality is amazing, although, with increased quality, there is often a decrease in quantity, but the food is so rich and delicious that no one really minds.  Take this wonderful crème brulee down there, for example, that thing was delicious. 

As you may well know, bread is a big deal here.  Bread is a huge part of the French culture.  It will usually be served at every meal, and it can be found easily in any location.  It is also really cheap because the government controls pricing on it so that even the poor will be able to afford a loaf of bread.  There is a Boulangerie right behind our apartments that I buy fresh baguettes at.  They are to die for. 

One last thing, they are extremely formal people, so if you are eating over here for business or for pleasure you can expect a lot of formalities.  The French will be very particular, however they will cut a little slack if they know you're a foreigner.